We Say the Darndest Things Blog

We Say the Darndest Things

Chelsea Peretti: "A Lot of People Mistake New York for a City, When Really It’S a Giant Mall With a Bunch of Parking Problems."

Buckle up for a humor-filled ride through NYC's shopping extravaganza and parking chaos with Chelsea Peretti's witty insights.

We Say the Darndest Things

Eddie Murphy: "I’M Not a Regular Guy. I’M a Man-Child."

Adventure into Eddie Murphy's world where he defies conventions, declaring, 'I'm not a regular guy. I'm a man-child,' leaving you curious for more.

We Say the Darndest Things

Patton Oswalt: "At Some Point in Your Life, You’Re Gonna Have to Turn to the Person Next to You and Ask Them if They Know How to Take Out the Batteries in a Smoke Detector."

Uncover the hilariously absurd quest of dismantling a smoke detector with Patton Oswalt, where even the simplest task becomes an epic adventure.

We Say the Darndest Things

Stephen Wright: "I Intend to Live Forever. so Far, so Good."

Immerse yourself in the witty world of Stephen Wright's musings on mortality with a touch of humor in 'I Intend to Live Forever. So Far, So Good.

We Say the Darndest Things

Bill Burr: "You Have No Idea How Long a Year Is Until You’Re Stone-Cold Sober."

Buckle up for a mind-bending ride as Bill Burr reveals the shocking truth about time and sobriety.

We Say the Darndest Things

Joan Rivers: "I Don't Exercise. if God Had Wanted Me to Bend Over, He Would Have Put Diamonds on the Floor."

Never thought of diamonds as a workout motivator? Joan Rivers did. Discover her hilarious take on exercise and more in this witty piece.

We Say the Darndest Things

Kevin Hart: "Everybody Wants to Be Famous, but Nobody Wants to Do the Work."

Curious about the truth behind fame? Kevin Hart spills the beans on the hard work behind the glitz and glamour.

We Say the Darndest Things

Ricky Gervais: "I Once Farted in an Elevator. It Was Wrong on so Many Levels."

Savor the unexpected as Ricky Gervais tackles societal taboos with humor, revealing a fart story that defies norms and invites laughter.

We Say the Darndest Things

Aziz Ansari: "No One Over the Age of 11 Should Be Wearing Crocs."

Prepare for a heated debate as Aziz Ansari declares, "No one over the age of 11 should be wearing Crocs"…but is he right?

We Say the Darndest Things

Tig Notaro: "In the Beginning, There Was Nothing. God Said, 'Let There Be Light!' and There Was Light. There Was Still Nothing, but You Could See It a Whole Lot Better."

Navigate the comedic cosmos with Tig Notaro as she sheds light on the void with a hilariously enlightening twist.

We Say the Darndest Things

Bill Hicks: "It's Always Funny Until Someone Gets Hurt. Then It's Just Hilarious."

Mystery unfolds as Bill Hicks challenges societal norms with humor that transcends discomfort, leaving you eager for more insights.

We Say the Darndest Things

Jim Gaffigan: "There’S a Lot of 'Voluntary' Fasting Going on … I Just Call It Skipping Breakfast."

Intrigued by Jim Gaffigan's take on fasting? Join the Breakfast Skippers Club for a rebellious twist on wellness trends and self-care humor.

We Say the Darndest Things

Richard Pryor: "I’M Not Addicted to Cocaine. I Just Like the Way It Smells."

Peek into Richard Pryor's aromatic odyssey with cocaine, where the scent of white dust transformed chaos into comedic genius.

We Say the Darndest Things

Amy Schumer: "I'm Very Old School. I Believe That Sex Should Be Saved for After Marriage. That Way, It Can Be Used as a Weapon."

Liberate your mind as Amy Schumer challenges traditional views on sex and marriage, revealing her intriguing perspective on intimacy and relationships.

We Say the Darndest Things

Louis C.K.: "‘I'm Bored’ Is a Useless Thing to Say. You Live in a Great, Big, Vast World That You've Seen None Percent Of."

Intrigued by Louis C.K.'s perspective on boredom? Get ready to uncover the secret to living a life full of excitement and wonder.

We Say the Darndest Things

Chris Rock: "You Don’T Pay Taxes—They Take Taxes."

Never thought taxes could be funny? Chris Rock's take on them will have you in stitches – find out why they just disappear!

We Say the Darndest Things

Jerry Seinfeld: "A Two-Year-Old Is Kind of Like Having a Blender, but You Don't Have a Top for It."

Kindergarten mayhem meets comedic chaos in Jerry Seinfeld's comparison of parenting a two-year-old to a lidless blender – discover the hilarious parallels!

We Say the Darndest Things

Robin Williams: "Do You Think God Gets Stoned? I Think So… Look at the Platypus."

Inviting you to ponder Robin Williams' comedic brilliance and unique perspective on life in a rollercoaster of wit, charm, and heart.

We Say the Darndest Things

George Carlin: "I Think It's the Duty of the Comedian to Find Out Where the Line Is Drawn and Cross It Deliberately."

Fascinated by George Carlin's comedic rebellion? Get ready to explore how he fearlessly crossed society's lines with a mischievous grin.

We Say the Darndest Things

Mitch Hedberg: "I Used to Do Drugs. I Still Do, but I Used To, Too."

Keen to unravel the comedic genius of Mitch Hedberg and his iconic line? Dive into a world of wit and absurdity with 'I Used to Do Drugs. I Still Do, but I Used To, Too.

We Say the Darndest Things

Bill Clinton: "I Don’T Know Whether It’S the Finest Public Housing in America or the Crown Jewel of the American Penal System."

Marvel at Bill Clinton's puzzling comparison between luxury public housing and a high-security prison – a debate that will leave you questioning the fine line between opulence and lockdown.

We Say the Darndest Things

Bill Clinton: "The Road to Tyranny, We Must Never Forget, Begins With the Destruction of the Truth."

Prepare to unravel the twisted path from truth to tyranny with Bill Clinton's warning, setting the stage for a journey filled with deception and chaos.

We Say the Darndest Things

Bill Clinton: "You Can't Say You Love Your Country and Hate Your Government."

Unravel the paradox of loving your country but loathing its government – Bill Clinton's perspective will challenge your beliefs.

We Say the Darndest Things

Bill Clinton: "I May Not Have Been the Greatest President, but I've Had the Most Fun Eight Years."

Lose yourself in the rollercoaster of Bill Clinton's presidency, filled with scandals, diplomacy, and personal charm – a tale you won't want to miss.

We Say the Darndest Things

George W. Bush: "You Teach a Child to Read, and He or Her Will Be Able to Pass a Literacy Test."

Curious how literacy goes beyond acing tests? Join us to discover the untapped power of reading and how it shapes success.

We Say the Darndest Things

Bill Clinton: "Being President Is Like Running a Cemetery: You've Got a Lot of People Under You and Nobody's Listening."

Delve into the intriguing parallels between being president and running a cemetery, where voices go unheard and leadership is a silent spectacle.

We Say the Darndest Things

George W. Bush: "I Hear There's Rumors on the Internets."

Hear how George W. Bush's infamous quote about internet rumors ignited a wildfire of speculation and gossip, leaving the online world buzzing.

We Say the Darndest Things

George W. Bush: "I Know How Hard It Is for You to Put Food on Your Family."

Ah, ever wonder how George W. Bush turned a simple phrase into a viral sensation? Keep reading for the hilarious aftermath of his infamous slip-up.

We Say the Darndest Things

Bill Clinton: "I Experimented With Marijuana a Time or Two, and I Didn’T Like It. I Didn’T Inhale and Never Tried It Again."

Dive into the intriguing tale of Bill Clinton's marijuana experiment, where he famously claimed not to have inhaled—but the story doesn't end there!

We Say the Darndest Things

George W. Bush: "Families Is Where Our Nation Finds Hope, Where Wings Take Dream."

Saddle up for a journey through George W. Bush's legacy of family values and how they shaped America's past, present, and future.

We Say the Darndest Things

Bill Clinton: "You Know, if I Were a Single Man, I Might Ask That Mummy Out. That’S a Good-Looking Mummy!"

Curious about how Bill Clinton's mummy comment turned heads?

We Say the Darndest Things

George W. Bush: "Too Many Good Docs Are Getting Out of the Business. Too Many OB-GYNS Aren't Able to Practice Their Love With Women All Across This Country."

Keen to uncover why OB-GYNs are fleeing the field? George W. Bush's insights reveal a comical yet concerning tale of medical 'love'.

We Say the Darndest Things

Donald Trump: "I Think That Would Qualify as Not Smart, but Genius….And a Very Stable Genius at That!"

A remarkable claim by Trump as a 'Not Smart, but Genius…And a Very Stable Genius,' sparking curiosity and controversy.

We Say the Darndest Things

Bill Clinton: "It Depends Upon What the Meaning of the Word 'Is' Is."

Hurtle into the linguistic labyrinth of Bill Clinton's enigmatic quote, where the word 'is' takes on a life of its own, leaving minds befuddled and intrigued.

We Say the Darndest Things

George W. Bush: "There's an Old Saying in Tennessee—I Know It's in Texas, Probably in Tennessee—That Says, Fool Me Once, Shame On—Shame on You. Fool Me—You Can't Get Fooled Again."

Tangled in linguistic confusion, George W. Bush's infamous quote leaves us wondering: intentional slip or clever wordplay? Unravel the mystery and delve into his captivating communication style.